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Like all of my blogs of late, this blog is directly related to my life. You see, last week and all weekend I had a severe case of the "procrastinations". Have you ever had bouts of that? It's a common "illness" with symptoms such as; switching between facebook and email; shuffling paper; watching tv and so on and so forth. The symptoms look different for each person, however, this fatal "illness" has one thing in common... unfulfilled dreams.

Now to be serious...

Procrastination is actually a symptom. So, like a disease in the human body, if all you are doing is just treating the symptom then you are still left with the disease.  You can look to change things from the outside in (dealing with the symptom) and find plenty of steps on 'how to deal with procrastination'.  Or you can get to root of the cause and look to change from the inside out.

Let me give you an example.  Imagine for a minute you have a chocolate cake and you slice the cake to make 2 cakes to give you a double layered cake. Let's pretend that it is chocolate and you put cream and fresh strawberries in between.. Why?.. simply because I love chocolate cake with cream and strawberries! It has nothing to do with the example.

The bottom layer represents your core belief system. It is made up of all the beliefs that support you in having the successes you have had and all the self-limiting beliefs that stop you from achieving all the other dreams you have yet just can't seem to achieve! The top layer of the cake is the results of your every day actions, including procrastination. They belong together and cannot be separated. After all, it was a chocolate cake that was sliced to make two layers of chocolate cake. You can look to make changes to the top layer, however, it will always be chocolate.

Procrastination (my actions... or lack there of!) is the result of being in resistance to something. I am not talking about the resistance to doing something you don't like or something that is 'hard'. Again, that would just be looking at the surface symptoms. I am referring to looking deeper than that, to the bottom layer of the cake. A personal development facilitator, Tom Haupt discusses in his book, Time-Out!, about the 8 most common self-limiting beliefs that hold us back from our goals and dreams. These are the names of the diseases that are the root cause of why anyone of us procrastinates.

Let's say we look at my layers as an example. I must start with what I see in the top layer.. obviously in this case we are talking about procrastination. So, if procrastination is a form of resistance then what am I resisting? If I look at my bottom layer I can identify that I am afraid of success. So I am actually resisting being successful! According to the 8 categories of the self-limiting beliefs as identified in Tom Haupt's book I have a belief called "Fear of Success" and also "I'm not Worthy".

When I believe that "I'm not worthy" or have a 'Fear of success" then I will look to go about my life, subconsciously, looking to sabotage my dreams to support my beliefs about myself. Procrastination is one really great way that I can sabotage my success. I mean, who can actually be successful in their business by watching tv and spending time on facebook!?

How do we change this chocolate cake to another flavor? ie: how do I change "I'm not worth it" to "I'm worth it"? Well... that's a whole other blog. However, there are some great exercises in Tom Haupt's book. You can order it on his website: www.TomHaupt.com

Next time you are procrastinating take the time to dig down as to what you are resisting. What's really going on for you?

Live a purpose-filled life.. you ARE worthy of it!

I love you

xx Melissa
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In  the beginning of the book I am writing is a concept of Self-Discovery and it's importance to a woman's success. Identifying who you THINK you are is the foundation for empowerment.  There are some questions in the book that allow the reader to make some discoveries about herself.

With these discoveries there is certainly no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Nor is there ‘good’ or ‘bad’. There are only discoveries about what is empowering or disempowering you. What is, is. And what isn’t, isn’t. It is the stories we make up about the circumstances in our lives, that makes the difference between whether we are empowered or disempowered.

When I am referring to empowered I am referring to something that is supporting or promoting your greatness. And therefore disempowered I am referring to something that is not supporting or promoting your greatness.  Being empowered puts you in a responsible state. I once heard Tony Robbins, a very popular and well known identity within the personal growth and development arena, say that being responsible is being “response able”. Meaning when you are in an empowered state you are able to respond. An empowered state allows you to be focused on finding a new solution. Provides you with new understanding. You are more open to learning something new about yourself or a situation. It gives you the power to make decisions and moves you into action mode.

The Webster dictionary defines the word empower as: “To give power to. To enable or permit. To promote the self-actualization or influence of.” Imagine if you gave yourself permission and supported yourself in a consistent place of empowerment? You would be giving yourself permission to enable yourself or to give power to yourself!

Therefore being in a disempowered state is to deprive of power. Webster dictionary defines it as “To deprive of influence, to make weak, ineffectual or unimportant.” When you allow yourself to be in a disempowered state you allow yourself to be made weak. To allow your power to be taken away from you and to be ineffectual and  unimportant.

It focuses you on the problem and even makes the problem bigger. You find yourself in an unresourceful state as you are simply problem focused not solution focused. It puts you in the victim questioning: “why me? Why does this always happen to me?’ Disempowerment gives you a feeling of being out of control because you give away your power.

The stories can be changed. Given that they have been written over a long period of time and become a part of our belief system, it has been said that they will always be with us at some level. That the stories never really go away. They are a part of who we are.

So, before assessing whether the stories in your life leave you empowered, what are the stories? Who are YOU? Who is it that you think you are?

Own your greatness - you deserve it,


Melissa Williams
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